After years of trying to find a mattress that was comfortable for both of us, my wife and I finally buckled down and spent the small fortune on a Select Comfort bed. Our size difference is substantial - she’s half my weight and 14 inches shorter - so the ability to adjust each side was critical.
In the time that we’ve had the bed, it’s been a rarity that swarms of toddlers haven’t entered into it to crawl on our faces and kick us in the throats at some point during the night. In the past week or two, we’ve won a couple of battles in this regard, and I’ve actually gotten several nights of semi-uninterrupted sleep.
What I’ve found is this - when I set the bed at my sleep number, or even in its general vicinity, I get dreams. Lots of dreams. Weird dreams. I told you about the dream I had the other day. I’ve had others since, equally strange, one involving a co-worker who somehow manifested as two people and fired herself.
Last night, I was surviving some sort of zombie apocalypse. The zombies in this case were rather lethargic, and would play dead until you got close to them. Taking a page from vampires, if they bit you, you’d be infected. The dream featured colleagues, characters from the show Lost, and probably friends and family members. I managed to work an Irish pub into the dream, which fortunately was still abandoned and had Guinness on tap for the taking.
Somehow I don’t think Select Comfort will be contacting me to do a testimonial.
You’re lucky! I dreamed I was a ranting Adolf Hitler last night, eating jelly beans! I must change my mattress.
Obviously there is a mind control feature to “select comfort”. Is there a select mantra or select alternate reality button you’ve pressed accidentally?