Steve Skojec

Dear Traditional Print Media,

I know we’ve had a strained relationship over the past few years, what with you trying to get me to pay for content online that I’m used to getting for free, and me entirely uninterested in buying your papers when I’d just as soon click on some links.

I’ve been thinking about things, though, and I think maybe if we’re willing to work at this we can salvage the good things we have. I need your facts and investigative stories, and I need you to believe that. I’m not a journalist, I’m a blogger. I think that’s what’s best about us as a couple - we’re not the same, we’re complimentary. It’s kind of cheesy, but in a way, you complete me.

On the other hand, while you hate to admit it, you benefit from my know-how and my friends in the digital landscape. If you can just let your guard down for a minute (and I know you’ve been hurt) and listen to me, I can teach you things. I can show you how to reach people who are put off by your façade of confidence and invulnerability. You need to just be yourself, and stop trying to be something you’re not. Sometimes you’re just so set in your ways. Please don’t take it the wrong way, but the world doesn’t owe you a favor. As you grow older, you lose some of your appeal. It’s natural. But I still think that you have something to offer that’s beautiful.

On that note, I’d like to gently offer a suggestion: you need to trim down a bit. One of the reasons why I’ve found it so hard to embrace you is that it - there’s no easy way to say it - you make me uncomfortable. The size of your pages and the fact that your inserts are always falling out when we’re on the train is…embarrasing. I mean, I think the world is crazy for going for all the ultra-skinny PDA content - I find that extremely unappealing. I really prefer a real news source. At the same time, I think you need to find a healthy balance.

Some of your younger sisters have got the right idea. The Examiner and the Express are very sleek and attractive. Their layout and, in the Examiner’s case, well-bound pages, make reading convenient for me in the restricted spaces of the public transportation I rely on for my daily commute. I’m not going to lie to you - Governor David Patterson has inspired me to be open about my indiscretions - I’ve been enjoying some intimate moments with these papers over my morning coffee. They’re so available. They don’t want me for my money. They’re petite, they’re cute, they’re stylish and they’re very readable.

There’s a downside though. For all of their qualities, they can be a bit…trashy. The Express in particular seems to struggle with this, not knowing if it wants to be a tabloid or  a real news rag.  The Examiner at least tries to be more mature, but I sense the self-consciousness and insecurity there. What I don’t get from either is the substance and wisdom that comes from experience.

So I’ll make my suggestion - follow their lead. Get with the times. Let go of your desire to have me pay for every date, or any date for that matter. It’s the 21st century! Things are different. Don’t be afraid to use a little more color. Downsize a little bit - we can all stand to lose some of our bulk, myself included. Make me fall in love with you again.

If you won’t to do this, I’m afraid we both know where this is going. I’d hate for that to happen, but there are too many other fish in the see to keep staying in a relationship that just won’t work. This time, it’s not me, it’s you. I hope you’re willing to make a change for the better before it’s too late. I’d hate to see you fade away, sad and lonely. You’re not perfect, but you still have a lot to offer. I hope you know that I want what’s best for you, what’s best for both of us.

Sincerely,

Steve