Might Not Be A Bad Idea
The Onion reports on an exciting product development:
After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johnson unveiled its new “Nothing But Tears” shampoo this week, an aggressive bath-time product the company says will help to prepare meek and fragile newborns for the real world.
A radical departure for the health goods manufacturer, the new shampoo features an all-alcohol-based formula, has never once been approved by leading dermatologists, and is as gentle on a baby’s skin as “having to grow up and fend for your g**damn self.”
“We at Johnson & Johnson have been making bath time a safe and soothing experience for far too long,” company CEO William C. Weldon said. “Years of pampering have left our newborns helpless, feeble, and ill-equipped for the arduous road ahead.”
“It’s time our children got the wake-up call that’s been coming to them,” Weldon continued. “It’s time they cried their precious little eyes out.”
Yes, there’s profanity, but the concept was too funny not to link. (If it really offends you, may I suggest you buy a bottle for yourself?)
Filed under: Funny
Pretty gd funny.
Funny as this “story” is, there is one point that needs to be made. Not all profanity is created equal: this particular compound directly violates the 2nd Commandment, thus putting it on a different plane than most of the other terms within the “Anglo-Saxon vocabulary.” So, yes, I am more conscientiously sensitive to it and its ilk than to those other words.
I agree with you, Somerset. That’s why I didn’t represent it here. Profanity doesn’t bother me much, but taking the Lord’s name in vain is something I really can’t stand.