This is the text of an actual conversation I had on IM today:
Me: OMG, even my notes are devolving:
- In 802 he required all men in the empire to take a personal oath of loyalty to him, and an oath of holy service to God and the Church
- Civil and ecclesiastical law were enforced
- Saxons rose up again in revolt, and Big C went to take them on; When he arrives, he meets the Vikings
- He thinks, “Oh shit. Vikings.”
Friend: the Big C had quite a potty mouth
Me: well, he was Karolus Magnus
first Holy Roman Emperor
he beheaded 4500 saxon nobles in one day
what do you expect
Friend: I’d be too tired to do anything after beheading 4500 people
Friend: my arm would be tired
Me: well, he delegated
Friend: It’s good to be the King
Me: I also enjoyed learning that Constantine had his wife boiled alive in her bath, after learning that he had executed his son based on her lies
how does one go about boiling a person in their bath, I wonder
Friend: creative murder .. we are such amateurs these days
Me: seriously
lazy
I blame television
Re: Chuck the Great’s potty mouth–you could baptize Franks, but civilizing them took a while longer.
And the pagan Saxons really, really deserved beheading, if anyone did. They made the Franks look like Elizabeth II in the civilized behavior department.
And all of Europe and parts of Asia got scatological at the sight of the Vikings and Normans. It’s an appropriate reaction. But the Vikings were way, way cooler than the Saxons: (1) They were smart enough to live on hills and not in swamps, (2) they had sweet boats and (3) the hats.
That’s why there are a lot of sports teams called the Vikings and none named the Saxons.
That’s why there are a lot of sports teams called the Vikings and none named the Saxons.
Classic.