Mar
31
2008
0

In Case You’re Not Lazy Enough Yet

Toshiba has invented a cute robot that learns what you’re doing with your TV remote and will then do it for you on spoken command:

Fed up with increasingly hard-to-use remote controls? Researchers at Japan’s Toshiba have developed a small, talking robot that can learn how to do it for you.
Instead of trying to remember which button to press on a remote control, users could simply ask the table-top robot to turn on the television or other appliances using its own infrared signal, Toshiba said.

The 21-centimetre (8.4-inch) tall ApriPoco robot — which is in the development stage — is equipped with sensors that can detect infrared rays from remote controls.

“What did you do now?” the robot, with big eyes and a round torso, would ask when the user clicks on a television programme.

The robot would then remember the link between the user’s answer and what was done with the remote control.

Written by Steve Skojec in: Epic Stupidity, Gadgets |
Mar
25
2008
1

Whoopsie!

Hillary’s selective memory gets her in trouble when the video archives don’t match her dramatic account:

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Mar
22
2008
15

Hurting the Feelings of Jews

I’m not going to beat around the bush today. I’ve spent too long amongst real bushes, cleaning years worth of dead brush (I’m talking downed trees, not just twigs) from the hill behind our new place. I’m tired, grumpy, and dirty.

The Jews are upset - still - over the Good Friday prayer regarding their salvation. Only this time, they’re peeved over the new one, the one that they asked for.

SPIEGEL ONLINE talked to German rabbi Walter Homolka about why he considers the prayer to be offensive and the likely damage to Catholic-Jewish relations.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Mr. Homolka, you — and around 1,600 rabbis worldwide — are sharply protesting the Vatican’s revival of the Latin Good Friday Prayer, which reads: “Let us also pray for the Jews: That our God and Lord may illuminate their hearts, that they acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the Savior of all men.” Do you consider Benedict XVI to be anti-Semitic?

Walter Homolka: He is trying to focus on the specific aspects of his church — that’s his duty. But in this case he has lost his sensitivity. It is insulting to Jews that the Catholic Church, in the context of Good Friday of all things, is once again praying for the illumination of the Jews, so that we can acknowledge Jesus as the savior. Such statements are made in a historical context which is closely connected with discrimination, persecution and death. Given the weight of responsibility that the Catholic Church has acquired in its history with Judaism, most recently during the Third Reich, this is completely inappropriate and must be rejected to the utmost degree.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: What is the effect of Benedict’s new version of the Latin phrase?

Homolka: He indicates that he believes that the path to salvation, even for Jews, can only go through Jesus, the savior. This opens the floodgates for the conversion of Jews. The Internet is already full of comments by conservative, right-wing Catholics who say: “Wonderful, now we finally have the signal to convert the Jews.” This kind of signal has an extremely provocative effect on anti-Semitic groups. The Catholic Church does not have its anti-Semitic tendencies under control.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: So Benedict is encouraging anti-Semitic tendencies?

Homolka: He is accepting them, at the very least.

[snip]

Homolka: In 2006, the chairman of the General Rabbinical Council of Germany, Rabbi Henry Brandt, expressed himself in very clear words to (leading German theologian) Cardinal Walter Kasper. He said that any approach to the possibility of a mission by the Church to convert Jews is essentially a hostile act — a continuation, on a different level, of Hitler’s crimes against the Jews. These are strong but honest words. The Catholic Church should acknowledge the fidelity of God, who abides by his choice of the nation of Israel as his chosen people.

This is, of course, total nonsense, so let’s get it right out of the way.

Dear Jews,

Unlike Hitler, (who you compare us to) we love you, and that’s why we want you to convert. Because despite your protestations to the contrary, we hold without equivocation that outside the Catholic Church, there is no salvation. Since that’s dogmatic,  not simply the opinion of a traditional few, we don’t really have an option in believing it. Our hand is forced. There’s nuance, sure, but you abandoned your covenant as the chosen people of God when your ancestors in the faith rejected the Messiah. Your covenant therefore cannot (strictly speaking) be salvific for you. Pope Eugene IV put this in quite non-negotiable terms when he promulgated his papal bull on the topic during the Council of Florence, Cantate Domino:

It [the Church] firmly believes, professes, and proclaims that those not living within the Catholic Church, not only pagans, but also Jews and heretics and schismatics cannot become participants in eternal life, but will depart “into everlasting fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels” [Matt. 25:41], unless before the end of life the same have been added to the flock; and that the unity of the ecclesiastical body is so strong that only to those remaining in it are the sacraments of the Church of benefit for salvation, and do fastings, almsgiving, and other functions of piety and exercises of Christian service produce eternal reward, and that no one, whatever almsgiving he has practiced, even if he has shed blood for the name of Christ, can be saved, unless he has remained in the bosom and unity of the Catholic Church.

We of course believe in a merciful God, so we entrust those souls who have died outside strict union with Rome to His care, and hope and pray for their salvation. We can’t presume salvation for them, however, so the urgency which we feel for the conversion of all non-Catholics is be such that we must work diligently toward their salvation through the sacraments of the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.

To desire the conversion of Jews, to pray and work actively to accomplish it, can be construed by no reasonable man to be “anti-semitic”. It is, in fact, the most pro-semitic attitude one could possibly have. We desire, with the love of souls that Christ commends us to, the salvation and eternal happiness of all peoples, especially our elder sibling in the faith, Judaism.

The stark reality of sin is that we are all responsible for the death of Christ, and His blood is therefore upon us all. The specific historical reality is that Christ’s death occured at the demands of the Jewish people, and they took willingly upon themselves the curse that went with it. Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich, in her visions of the Passion, said of this:

WHENEVER, during my meditations on the Passion of our Lord, I imagine I hear that frightful cry of the Jews, ‘His blood be upon us, and upon our children,’ visions of a wonderful and terrible description display before my eyes at the same moment the effect of that solemn curse. I fancy I see a gloomy sky covered with clouds, of the colour of blood, from which issue fiery swords and darts, lowering over the vociferating multitude; and this curse, which they have entailed upon themselves, appears to me to penetrate even to the very marrow of their bones,— even to the unborn infants. They appear to me encompassed on all sides by darkness; the words they utter take, in my eyes, the form of black flames, which recoil upon them, penetrating the bodies of some, and only playing around others.

The last-mentioned were those who were converted after the death of Jesus, and who were in considerable numbers, for neither Jesus nor Mary ever ceased praying, in the midst of their sufferings, for the salvation of these miserable beings.

This sounds harsh, and it is. The good news is, He died for us all - because of us all - and and His sacrifice is redemptive for the many who will accept Him. Including the Jews. Hence the reason Jesus, Mary (and all Catholics) never cease in their desire for the conversion of the Jews.

So stop whining about it. I’ll say it again: we pray for you because we love you. We don’t want you to go to hell. You don’t have to agree with it, but don’t give us a hard time about it, or you’ll tempt us to stop caring at all.

I’m about this close.

Mar
20
2008
1

Presented An Opportunity to Do Good, France Opts for Predictability, Surrenders

I’m sorry, I’m on  a bit of a tear today. This is one of the more callous, opportunistic, and assinine statements I’ve read in some time:

France’s foreign minister backtracked from comments suggesting he is open to a boycott of the Beijing Olympics’ opening ceremonies, saying Wednesday that some economic decisions must be made “at the expense of human rights.”

Bernard Kouchner on Tuesday said the idea of skipping the Aug. 8 opening ceremony to punish China for its crackdown on protests in Tibet was “interesting” and “less negative than a general boycott” of the Olympics. But by Tuesday evening, he told France-2 television: “We’re not in favor of it.”

On Wednesday, Kouchner told RMC radio and BFM television that the boycott was not a bad idea. But “it seems unrealistic,” he said. “There are a lot of good ideas that can’t be put into practice.”

“When you’re dealing in international relations with countries as important as China, obviously when you make economic decisions it’s sometimes at the expense of human rights,” he added. “That’s elementary realism.”

I’m glad the “at the expense of human rights” quote was put in there twice. When economic decisions come “at the expense of human rights”, where does that leave us, exactly?

I’ll tell you where it leaves us: France.

Written by Steve Skojec in: Epic Stupidity |
Mar
18
2008
1

A Major Improvement in New York

The new Governor of New York, former Lieutenant Governor David Paterson, admitted just after being sworn in that he and his wife had had extra-marital affairs for years.

He didn’t pay for the sex though, so it’s all good.

“This was a marriage that appeared to be going sour at one point,” Paterson conceded in his first interview Saturday. “But I went to counseling and we decided we wanted to make it work. Michelle is well aware of what went on.”

In a second interview with Paterson and his wife Monday, only hours after he was sworn in to replace scandal-scarred Eliot Spitzer, Michelle Paterson confirmed her husband’s account.

“Like most marriages, you go through certain difficult periods,” Michelle Paterson said. “What’s important is for your kids to see you worked them out.”

The First Couple agreed to speak publicly about the difficulties in their marriage in response to a variety of rumors about Paterson’s personal life that have been circulating in Albany and among the press corps in recent days.

They spoke in the governor’s office even as scores of friends, family members and political supporters were celebrating in the corridors of the Capitol his ascension to the state’s highest post.

Given the call-girl scandal that erupted last week and forced Spitzer’s stunning resignation, Paterson conceded that top government officials are bound to come under closer scrutiny for their personal actions.

The governor flatly denied what he called a “sporadic rumor in Albany that I had a love child” by another woman. “That’s just not true,” he said.

“Don’t you think he’d take care of a child if he’d had one?” Michelle Paterson said, in obvious disgust over that persistent rumor.

See? He voluntarily admitted he’s a disgusting creep. It’s so much nicer that way. What an upright guy, and a bold contrast to the disgrace that Eliot Spitzer left behind.

Mar
07
2008
0

Talk About an Idle Threat

A mayor in southwest France has threatened severe punishment to residents in the event that they die, because there’s no room left in the cemetary:

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that “all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.”

It added: “Offenders will be severely punished.”

Written by Steve Skojec in: Epic Stupidity, Funny |
Mar
05
2008
2

That Gives a New Meaning to The “Burning Bush”

This just in:

High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.

Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.

“As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don’t believe, or a legend, which I don’t believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics,” Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday.

Feb
28
2008
1

You Can’t Write Comedy This Good

Taking pretty much the entire playbook from the Iraqi Information Minister, Iranian President Ahmadinejad has been making comments riddled with such fanciful hyperbole that it’s impossible not to laugh:

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared on Thursday that Iran was the world’s “number one” power, as he launched a bitter new assault on domestic critics he accused of siding with the enemy. “Everybody has understood that Iran is the number one power in the world,” Ahmadinejad said in a speech to families who lost loved ones in the 1980-1988 Iran-Iraq war.

“Today the name of Iran means a firm punch in the teeth of the powerful and it puts them in their place,” he added in the address broadcast live on state television.

Classic.

Written by Steve Skojec in: Epic Stupidity, Funny |

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