A few days ago, someone posted a list of “46 Reasons My Three Year Old Might be Freaking Out.” It was the first thing I read after I woke up as I waited for the shower to get warm. I laughed so hard I was crying. I might have drooled on the floor a little bit.
Since I have five kids running through the house and one arriving soon, I have some experience with three-year-old freak outs. Our current 3-year-old is the reigning champion. I thought I’d add some of my favorites to the list.
His eggs are falling off his fork.
He wanted his eggs prepared differently.
He tastes pepper.
He doesn’t want fruit.
His sleeves are wrinkly when you pull them up.
His sleeves are too long when you don’t.
His pants got a few drops of water on them.
The house is “shaking.”
I cut up his pancakes.
I didn’t cut up his pancakes.
He thought I was getting him water.
We cleaned up the toys he’s not using.
His bed is too squishy.
I covered him up when he’s cold.
I put the wrong shirt on him.
I put the right shirt on him but he wanted to do it himself.
A vegetable touched his plate.
I put kale in his “hamburger spot.”
His fingernails are “smoky.”
It’s time to go to church.
I want him to wear pants.
The light is off in the bathroom.
His cheese fell on him.
His cheese slice is too small.
His cheese is the wrong kind.
He wants to sit in a different chair.
He has to buckle his seatbelt.
I got him the wrong beverage.
I asked him about something he said.
I misrepresented something he made up.
His cape isn’t tied.
He can’t transform the robot.
He hates the day.
He hates everything.
I told him he’s freaking out.
UPDATE: As I was hitting “publish”, he started freaking out. Because he was asking a question and nobody was answering him.
Steve Skojec is a storyteller, writer, blogger, photographer, designer, and sci-fi fan. He is the Founding Publisher and Executive Director of OnePeterFive.com. He received his BA in Communications and Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2001. He lives in Arizona with his wife Jamie and six of their seven children.